"Trump" declared the war on Christmas has been replaced with the "war on North Korea".
To settle him down, the first lady encourages her husband to turn to trimming a Christmas tree, by hanging ornaments depicting the faces of "all the haters and losers I destroyed this year". There was one for "nut job" former Federal Bureau of Investigation director James Comey, and Sean Spicer and Anthony Scaramucci, whose "mangled corpses I stepped over to get this job", said Sarah Huckabee Sanders (Aidy Bryant).
In a surprise guest appearance, Scarlett Johansson shows up next as Ivanka Trump, to extended applause by the audience.
"Look, we have a really diverse team across the board at the White House", she said, adding, "We always want to continue to grow the diversity here".
Still, he assures the president he "won't snitch" on the administration, "because I don't recall who's been naughty or who's been nice", he says.
Brief warm-up today, rain chances return on Sunday
Tonight , cloud cover will increase from the southeast and temperatures will be chilly, just not as chilly as the previous night. We should see brighter weather Tuesday through Thursday with most highs ranging from the middle 60s to around 70.
At the "White House", Johansson's Ivanka tells her father that her husband, Jared Kushner, couldn't be there. "Even among some black conservatives you've probably got some reluctance to serve in a Trump administration". "And then I threw myself into the bushes". "But at least America knows that I finally supported an accused child molester".
The White House did not respond to requests Thursday for a list of how many African-Americans serve in leadership positions at the White House. The Secret Service said it had deactivated a pass granting her access to the White House complex, though White House spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders said Manigault Newman would be on staff through the administration's one-year mark.
Trump's sons Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump then appear, with Trump Jr. unveiling an ornament featuring an array of former Trump aides, including former campaign manager Paul Manafort and political adviser George Papadopoulos. "I see you in there, Donald".
The lady needs to correct her "zero balance" so that she won't 'have to go back to Earth to get a job as a cashier or a waitress'. "He wants to shut down these investigations and he wants to fire special counsel Mueller".
"Merry Christmas", McKinnon's elf version of Sessions says. "You got to cut off the head to kill the snake, and I should know because I'm a mischievous little mongoose". "Take me back!" she pleaded.
Saturday Night Live airs on Saturdays at 11:30 pm ET / 8:30 pm PT on NBC.